Palo Alto

Palo Alto was the epicentre of the .com boom, currently providing jobs for nearly 100,000 code workers. During its time it has been home to Photobucket, Facebook, Logitech, Google, Paypal and Danger Inc and many more. As the technological wave spills over, companies move to larger sites and Stanford finds itself with buildings named after Hewlett, Packard and Bill Gates, among others. Many of the local haunts have free wifi, and there's coverage all over Stanford and SLAC. The local Apple Store and Fry's Electronics are both well stocked, as is the Stanford Shop. Stanford is home to research for alternative energies (eg the solar car) and is home to a world class medical center. The economy is totally reliant on the high technology industries and the research that takes place here. It's Mecca for geeks and technophiles.

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Downtown Palo Alto is dominated by University Avenue, which predictably leads to Stanford. For some reason there are an unusually large number of rug shops in the area, as if, for whatever reason, the residents of Palo Alto have more floorspace than most other residents in the country. (This clearly isn't the case, as the property prices in the area are ludicrous. Perhaps it's a status thing.) There are quite a few homeless people in the area, and a lot of them push around shopping carts full of very organised bags and blankets. They drink Starbucks coffee and have been seen reading Voltaire. One the people who looks homeless actually isn't. He pushes a wheelchair round with a tape player on it, and he fought in a war. There are only four bars (that I know of), and the rest of the area consists of mainly restaurants, coffee shops. This makes Palo Alto a rather boring place to spend an evening, especially since the pool tables were recently removed from Blue Chalk (one of the bars.) The gem in University Avenue's crown is the Stanford Theater, which specialises in old films, and where you can see a man play his organ before each movie. It's a nice bit of escapism. Luckily there's a large Borders nearby to prevent chronic boredom.

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One of the most surreal aspects of living in Palo Alto is the diversity of the local area.

East Palo Alto

Tens of metres from Palo Alto, across a freeway is East Palo Alto. The area is infamous for violent crime, with high rates of homicide dominated by gangs. While they beat and rob each other they tend to leave the ridiculously affluent Palo Altons next door alone. People are advised not to visit East Palo Alto, unless they want to go to Ikea.

Atherton

The only thing better than a multi-million dollar house is a multi-million dollar house that needs to be rebuilt every few years. The houses in Atherton are among the most expensive in all of America, and yet they are built on hills experiencing frequent mudslides. Everytime the winter rains come another house slides down a few feet, causing hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage.

Sunnyvale

There's not a great deal I know about Sunnyvale, except to say that I cam across a band once called the Sunnyvale Noise Subelement. Apparently the term means antisocial noise. Sunnyvale is even more paranoid than Palo Alto.

El Camino Real

El Camino goes from San Francisco to San Diego (and is therefore the way to San Jose.) Driving up and down El Camino you'll find just about anything you could want. Superstores, restaurants, cinemas, bowling, hospitals and even (for a few blocks around Redwood City) porn shops. It's like a commercially powered artery that keeps the area alive. And it's as wide as a British motorway.

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After a gig in Palo Alto Thom Yorke wrote a song about the town. It was originally named OK Computer, but wasn't deemed good enough to deserve a place in their new album, so the (now world famous and critically acclaimed) album inherited the name and the song, now named Palo Alto, was relegated to a B-side of Airbag/How's my driving.

In a city of the future
It is difficult to concentrate
Meet the boss, meet the wife
Everybody's happy
Everyone is made for life

In a city of the future
It is difficult to find a space
I'm too busy to see you
You're too busy to wait

But I'm okay, how are you?
Thanks for asking, thanks for asking
But I'm okay, how are you?
I hope you're okay too

Everyone one of those days
When the sky's California blue
With a beautiful bombshell
I throw myself into my work
I'm too lazy, I've been kidding myself for so long

I'm okay, how are you?
Thanks for asking, thanks for asking
But I'm okay, how are you?
I hope you're okay too

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The residents of Palo Alto are notoriously paranoid (although they're not as bad as those in Atherton.) Violent crime is very rare here, but minor violations seem rife, and the Palo Alto Daily News jumps on the smallest incident. Every now and then a serious incident is placed alongside the rest of the inane incidents, throwing the tedious and petty pursuit into sharp contrast. Unfortunately it's not online, so here are some of the funnier (and scarier) snippets.

Apr 28th 2008

• Atherton - Some concerned Menlo-Atherton High School parents on campus Friday night called police to report a suspicious man in black clothing and a black beanie walking in the gym parking lot. He turned out to be a campus custodian.
• Atherton - A gray Mazda passed a woman's home at a high rate of speed.
• Atherton - A brown and white dog was seen running the roadway. The dog was gone when police arrived.
• Mountain View - Suspicious circumstances were reported.

Apr 18th 2008

• Los Altos - A dog barked loudly.
• Menlo Park - Someone lost a wallet.

Apr 18th 2008

• Los Altos - A Los Altos resident called the police because his lights were not working.

Apr 9th 2008

• Atherton - Police found a 12 inch copper pipe on the side of [a] road.
• Atherton - Someone reported seeing a brown chihuahua on the side of the road. Police were unable to locate the dog.
• Atherton - A brown and white dog was seen running the roadway. The dog was gone when police arrived.
• Mountain View - Suspicious circumstances were reported.

Mar 27th 2008

• Palo Alto - a driveway was toilet papered.
• Atheron - A dog howled for a while.

Mar 20th 2008

• Menlo Park - On Tuesday morning soeone reported that a suspect entered an office at 330 Ravenswood Avenue over the weekend and took stamps.
• East Palo Alto - An unknown suspect allegedly shot into an occupied house or vehicle without causing injury.

Mar 18th 2008

• San Mateo - A person was seen with a pistol.

Mar 15th 2008

• Atherton - A suspicious vehicle had been parked for a while with no apparent reason.
• Atherton - Someone accidentally dialled 911 when they needed the phone number for a veterinarian.
• Mountain View - Found property was given to police.

Mar 13th 2008

• Palo Alto - A wedding ring was found on the 600 block of Ramona Street. It's unclear if it was placed there on purpose or simply fell off a hand.
• Palo Alto - The passenger side of a vehicle was scratched.
• Atherton - A bike was found at [a] bus stop.
• Atherton - A parent sent a threatening text message.
• Atherton - A white Mercedes was reported as suspicious.
• Mountain View - A person was ill.

Mar 11th 2008

• Atherton - Two white huskies were out and about Sunday afternoon on Fairfax Avenue, Even though the two canines had collars, it wasn't clear from whence they came.
• Mountain View - A sick person was reported.

Mar 10th 2008

• Atherton - A catering van was blocking traffic and lacked a business license.
• Atherton - Two students fought during class.
• Atherton - A gunshot was heard.
• Atherton - Loud music was reported at the playing feilds.
• Atherton - Kids put rocks and logs in the middle of [a] roadway.
• Atherton - A resident complained about noise from three go-carts.
• Atherton - Someone found a case full of beer cans.
• Atherton - Children playing on the phone called 911.
• Atherton - A resident returned home to find the blinds lowered. The resident believed someone had entered the home.
• Menlo Park - Annoying phone calls were reported.

Mar 4th 2008

• Palo Alto - A rental vehicle was not returned.
• Palo Alto - A dog was loose.
• Palo Alto - Someone found a black case.
• Los Altos - An animal was injured.

Feb 29th 2008

• Atherton - A 58-year old woman on Fenwood Drive suffered a panic attack Wednesday following a verbal altercation with her daughter over the telephone. Police arrived on the scene, followed by the daughter who was told not to return for the rest of the night. The woman eventually calmed fown after refusing medical attention.
• Palo Alto - An American flag was stolen from above a person's garage door.
• Palo Alto - A lewd or lascivious act was reported.
• Palo Alto - Two people purchased food with counterfeit money.

Feb 27th 2008

• Atherton - A woman and her daughter were allegedly driving an ice cream truck [and] going through recycling bins. Police were unable to locate the people.
• Palo Alto - A person was cited for using a leaf blower.
• Palo Alto - A person was cited for using a leaf blower. (Yes, another person. There's a leaf-blowing crime spree taking place!)

Feb 25th 2008

• Mountain View - Someone was arrested on suspicion of disorderly conduct.
• Atherton - Someone complained about noise from a construction site.
• Atherton - A little girl dialled 911 and hung up. When the dispatcher called back, she hung up again. The housekeeper said that she was playing with the phone.

Feb 21st 2008

• Palo Alto - A man was arrested on suspicion of resisting arrest.
• Mountain View - A suspicious person was reported.

Feb 19th 2008

• Atherton - A resident received a telephone call, allegedly from DirectTV, saying they were installing a DVR in his house though the resident had not made any such appointment. Officers determined that the house was secure and that the call may have been a prank.
• Atherton - A woman said her ex-husband was refusing to clean up his mes on her driveway. Officers were on standby while both parties collected their items.

Feb 17th 2008

• Los Altos - Malicious mischief occured.
• Atherton - A 17-year-old teen made threats to his father.
• Atherton - Someone saw a dead skunk.
• Atherton - A student said a man followed him on the way to Menlo School but went in another direction once they reached the school.

Feb 16th 2008

• Palo Alto - Someone was cited for using a loud leaf blower.
• Palo Alto - Someone used electrical services from a business without paying.

Feb 14th 2008

• Atherton - Someone was ringing a residence's back doorbell.
• Atherton - Two loose dogs were in the roadway.

Feb 12th 2008

• Palo Alto - A grounds maintenance worker accidentally broke a window while operating a weed-whacker.
• Palo Alto - An unauthorized person left food at a business.
• Palo Alto - Someone prowled in the area and then departed.

Feb 11th 2008

• Atherton - A man living in the 100 block if Tuscaloosa Avenue found a garbage bad in his front yard late Saturday afternoon that had a severed pig's head inside it. Police notified animal control, which forwarded the case to an animal cruelty investigator.
• Atheron - A resident reported to police that a drain was flooding.
• Menlo Park - Someone called police to report that a person was cutting down a heritage tree.

Jan 30th 2008

• Atherton - A loose dog was spotted.
• Los Altos - A bank was robbed.
• Redwood City - A patient fled from a hospital emergency room.
• Burlingame - A person was screaming outside a building, and when an employee opened the door, the person spit on her.
• Burlingame - Someone reported a white vehicle that was playing music loudly.

Jan 20th 2008

• Atherton - A barking dog locked in a cage was barking for an hour and a half.
• Atherton - A suspicious person a gray sweat shirt and black hair was reported.
• Menlo Park - An identity was posisbly stolen.
• Menlo Park - A purse turned into police.

Jan 14th 2008

• Atherton - Officers approached two people inside a "suspicious" vehicle. The car's occupants said they were waiting for a resident to return home.
• Atherton - Officers checked out another suspicious vehicle, this one unoccupied.
• Atherton - Police responded to an emergency call and were told that the resident's son had been playing with the phone and accidentally dialled 911.
• Atherton - Juveniles were having a large party in the area.
• Atherton - A white Jeep drove through a stop sign and reportedly followed someone down the cul-de-sac. Police were unable to locate the Jeep.
• Mountain View - Someone was arrested for allegely making terrorist threats.
• Mountain View - An accident was reported.

Jan 13th 2008

• Menlo Park - Someone turned in firearms for destruction.
• Mountain View - Someone received obscene phone calls.

Dec 7th 2007

• Atherton - At around 10:30pm a resident heard a pounding noise coming from a house across the street, and the garage door was open. Police found an employee working inside and gave the worker a warning.
• Atherton - A student did not go to a morning class.
• Atherton - Two juveniles threw garbage out from a truck.

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